Rajnikant Jokes (mostly abridged Chuck Norris ones, but what the heck I think they're funny)

OK, so ever since that copy-cat 'Robot' 'Endhiran' was out, there have been Rajnikant jokes all over facebook/twitter.

So, thought I'll get them all together for 'future reference' :D

• On the 7th day Rajnikanth rested.
• Evolution is a myth. We exist because Rajnikanth has allowed us to.

• Rajnikanth doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
• Rajnikanth doesnt move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajnikanth.
• Rajnikant is so fast he always comes yesterday.

• The fat lady asks Rajnikanth if its over (THIS IS MY PERSONAL FAVORITE)
• Rajnikanth can unscramble an egg!
• When Rajnikant plays cricket he doesn't hit the ball for a six. He hits it for a century!
• Rajnikanth does not mow the lawn. He just stares at the grass and dares it to grow!
• James Bond to M: Can we borrow Rajnikanth for this mission
• The Bermuda triangle was the Bermuda square till Rajnikanth kicked one of the corners off.

• Rajnikant does do headstands. He carries the Earth on his head.
• When Rajnikanth stares at the sun, it hides behind the clouds & it rains.
• Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
• Rajnikant can moonwalk on the sun.

• Rajnikanth has counted to infinity - twice!
• Rajnikanth can factorise a prime number. In more than one way !
• Rajnikanth can divide 22/7 to a whole number.

• Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
• Rajinikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Rajnikanth!
• When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

• When Rajnikanth hits you even Google won't be able to find you.
• Even if Google fails to find you, Rajnikanth will!
• Why doesnt Rajnikanth show up on Google? You dont find Rajnikanth. Rajnikanth finds you.
• Rajnikanth's email id. gmail@rajnikanth.com
• Twitter gets its account verified by Rajnikanth.

• Only a blind man sees Rajnikanth as bald. Even the sightless love his locks.
• When Rajnikanth is asked to kill someone he doesnt know he pulls the trigger and tells the bullet to go find the target.
• Rajnikanth doesnt own a microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.
• Rajnikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and tap himself on the shoulder.
• Rajnikanth doesnt breathe air. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
• Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
• Rajnikanth doesnt need an iPhone. He can talk to himself.
• Rajnikanth once got into a knife fight. The knife lost.

• Rajjnikanth knows Victoris's secret. (This deserves special mention :D)
• Rajnikanth can make onions cry.
• Rajnikanth can leave an entire message before the beep.
• Rajnikanth can judge a book by its cover.
• Rajnikanth can divide by zero and add zero to zero to make a billion.
• In an average living room there are 1242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• When you say No One is Perfect, Rajnikanth takes it as a personal insult.
• Rajnikanth can checkmate Vishwanathan Anand with his first move.

Nobody blogs Rajni jokes. Rajni blogs them himself!!

(Feel free to add more in the comments - 'for future reference' ;))