Friday, October 29, 2010

Rajnikant Jokes (mostly abridged Chuck Norris ones, but what the heck I think they're funny)

OK, so ever since that copy-cat 'Robot' 'Endhiran' was out, there have been Rajnikant jokes all over facebook/twitter.
So, thought I'll get them all together for 'future reference' :D

  • On the 7th day Rajnikanth rested.
  • Evolution is a myth. We exist because Rajnikanth has allowed us to.
  • Rajnikanth doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  • Rajnikanth doesnt move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajnikanth.
  • Rajnikant is so fast he always comes yesterday.
  • The fat lady asks Rajnikanth if its over (THIS IS MY PERSONAL FAVORITE)
  • Rajnikanth can unscramble an egg!
  • When Rajnikant plays cricket he doesn't hit the ball for a six. He hits it for a century!
  • Rajnikanth does not mow the lawn. He just stares at the grass and dares it to grow!
  • James Bond to M: Can we borrow Rajnikanth for this mission
  • The Bermuda triangle was the Bermuda square till Rajnikanth kicked one of the corners off.
  • Rajnikant does do headstands. He carries the Earth on his head.
  • When Rajnikanth stares at the sun, it hides behind the clouds & it rains.
  • Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
  • Rajnikant can moonwalk on the sun.
  • Rajnikanth has counted to infinity - twice!
  • Rajnikanth can factorise a prime number. In more than one way !
  • Rajnikanth can divide 22/7 to a whole number.
  • Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
  • Rajinikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Rajnikanth!
  • When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
  • When Rajnikanth hits you even Google won't be able to find you.
  • Even if Google fails to find you, Rajnikanth will!
  • Why doesnt Rajnikanth show up on Google? You dont find Rajnikanth. Rajnikanth finds you.
  • Rajnikanth's email id.
  • Twitter gets its account verified by Rajnikanth.
  • Only a blind man sees Rajnikanth as bald. Even the sightless love his locks.
  • When Rajnikanth is asked to kill someone he doesnt know he pulls the trigger and tells the bullet to go find the target.
  • Rajnikanth doesnt own a microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.
  • Rajnikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and tap himself on the shoulder.
  • Rajnikanth doesnt breathe air. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
  • Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
  • Rajnikanth doesnt need an iPhone. He can talk to himself.
  • Rajnikanth once got into a knife fight. The knife lost.
  • Rajjnikanth knows Victoris's secret. (This deserves special mention :D)
  • Rajnikanth can make onions cry.
  • Rajnikanth can leave an entire message before the beep.
  • Rajnikanth can judge a book by its cover.
  • Rajnikanth can divide by zero and add zero to zero to make a billion.
  • In an average living room there are 1242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • When you say No One is Perfect, Rajnikanth takes it as a personal insult.
  • Rajnikanth can checkmate Vishwanathan Anand with his first move.

Nobody blogs Rajni jokes. Rajni blogs them himself!!

(Feel free to add more in the comments - 'for future reference' ;))